Apparently it's true

Where is the Danish Brother?

Well it seems that we have finally found him. See today's story from the times newspaper in the UK

Tragic demise of Lord Jim of Gonzo

It is with great sadness that we have to report the tragic demise of Lord Jim of Gonzo, millionaire Lothario (well in Vietnamese Dong at least), and former commander of the Special Operations Executive. Another sad day for the sirens. Here is just one newspaper obituary of this nearly great man…

Lord Jim of Gonzo, Twenty third Earl of Grimsby, winner of the Victoria Cross and Croix de Guerre sadly passed away today. An expert in the ancient art of stingray baiting, he was educated at Clifton before going up to St John's College, Oxford, where he read modern languages (strictly for 2 hours a week), drank wine, chased women, and generally had a thoroughly good time. He began his professional career as a belly dancer, where he rapidly earned fame for the “Gonzo” technique. But for an unfortunate accident at Madam Foufu’s involving a feather boa, he would surely have been one of the world’s leading exponents. After leaving the world of belly dancing he went on to serve in the Financial Services Authority (where he was eminently qualified) and went on to be its first sober chief executive (for exactly two months while he was under-going rehab). Once the drinking began again his true potential was spotted and he became the first non-American head of the Federal Reserve, where he made his fortune supporting a number of Ponzi schemes. In his later life he moved into the world of Military Intelligence (an oxymoron but still if you have read this far, well done) where he was commander of the Special Operations Executive and famed for undertaking assignments dressed only with a pair of size 10 Doc Marten boots. He met his untimely death whilst trying to fight off a number of insurgents equipped with his trusty catapult “old faithful” and a Vietnamese pen knife.

Lord Jim of Gonzo’s career and celebrity fuelled by hedonism and as famous for his establishment family background as he was infamous for his enfant terrible antics will be sorely missed by his 125 children raised by his 72 “wives”.

Meeting the impostor

KNL Moving Company, the best of its kind in North Korea, spent a week trying in vain to move the TL's goods from the mothership to his mansion in Tay Ho. Things unwillingly did not turn in KNL's favour as busy people just couldn't bother to print, send or collect anything. On top of all that, KNL was disappointed to find out that she had met an impostor who laughed at her for not recognizing, and for getting on her knees. As the impostor was just too good to introduce oneself or to offer any cards, KNL wasn't able to detect any trail. TL was even more hopeless - he actually thought an impostor was KNL the other day!! The Hamster was too thirsty so he did not bother to speak, fearing that would consume more of his water reserve. We have decided to punish the hamster by way of a poll. Please come in and show us your vote - 8 more days before the vote closes!!! Nicarus was caught in the thought of a perfect golf swing he did not recognize the voice change and hair cut of the impostor. All of us had only one swipe of the magnetic card so we were only just too happy to cram out of there.

Nicarus is back !

Nicarus has returned, gently singed by the strong sun and thin ozone in Lam Dong, but in good form. Rumours abound that the Gods are bickering in their lofty abode, and mortals have become concerned that recent storms and lightning reflect the sour mood that prevails in the heavens. Nicarus has suggested opening up the hamster to see what his entrails might tell us of the future, and was seen sharpening his toenail clippers in anticipation. But one suspects that this will not be approved by middle management, and instead a humble offering will have to suffice in a bid to soothe those in whom our collective fates do rest.

The Wonders of “Shake Shake” Chicken

Today the TL (who is still waiting to fly but almost managed it last week) and his half sister Kim Ngoc Lee went to a newly opened and exclusive restaurant in the centre of town. Being new and from the village, TL decided to wear his best suit and tie and waited anxiously the whole morning for the Thapster to take them to a new gastronomic world, much to the irritation of the rest of our little office. Sister KNL, commented on the wonderful interior décor of the new restaurant – bright red and a tasteful beige colour – being from North Korea she is extremely au fait with the latest trends and is known to be a bit of a style icon in her own right. All were impressed with the exotic “shake shake” chicken combo …. well all except KNL who remembered her family’s secret “shake shake” chicken recipe which she had hoped would make her fortune in the West. Outraged that someone else had stolen her idea she went into a rage, throwing away all the cutlery and storming out. TL was sad, he only wanted prawn balls but alas was cruelly denied (I guess it serves him right for wearing a tie). Oh well perhaps in a few months when sister KNL has forgotten this episode we could all head back, meantime we remain hungry….

Arrival of Our First Visitor - which by definition makes her a VIP

Since last week our little home overlooking the graveyard has been buzzing with people coming in and out of the place, well actually one but whose counting. Lord Jim of Gonzo (a distant cousin to Lord Lucan) invited a very important person to the office – another siren from the home of my half brother. KNL wore her best dress and served tea, whilst the hamster was given a full ration of water and told to clean up before she came, which bless his furry tummy, he managed to do. Lord Jim of Gonzo was once a famous lothario and so all were wondering whether his wayward ways will resurface when the new Siren would appear. Thankfully our rich friend from Tay Ho made Lord Jim of Gonzo clean one of her fleet of Bentley’s before she came so, we were all spared the lounge lizard routine. Anyway when the time came it was all a bit of an anticlimax and we all wondered what the fuss was about. Never mind, I am sure there will be more people visiting us soon, especially as the airport is nearby and you can always guarantee a stray bus of either Japanese or Korean tourists passing through….