Quentin's dad is no more

It is with much sadness that I must report the tragic demise of Quentin's dad (with a bazooka) over the weekend. He'd been on some in-country RnR in the highlands, mixing with a hermit tribe in the highlands. They'd encouraged him to demonstrate his bazooka skills, and he couldn't resist. Tragically, he'd run out of the dog fat he usually uses to lubricate the barrel, ahead of firing, and had access only to mango juice. Upon firing the bazooka, the friction in the barrel rose to a temperature that caused the juice to spontaneously combust and the bazooka misfired. The business end of the bazooka barrel was self-circumcised instantly, and the recoil knocked Quentin's dad off his feet, pushing him backwards. Being in the highlands, he not only feel off his perch, but was launched off the cliff, in a cartoon moment that Wily E Coyote would have been proud of. In a desperate bid not to crash earthwards, Quentin's dad then fired the bazooka again, downwards ("always keep an extra one up the spout" had been one of his more common words of wisdom to Quentin over the years), and again the recoil pushed him up and away, as he hung on to his prized -- but now largely impotent -- weapon. Indeed, he then went into a lower orbit over the Pacific Ocean. US fighter planes in Guam were scrambled, as their radars identified the provenance of the bazooka -- North Korean. Fearing that Hawaii might be under attack by a kamakazi-like human rocket, the order was given to 'take out' the flying bazooka. So it was that Quentin's dad was the first recorded case of a fatality using 'star wars' technology. Little of his remains returned to earth, it seems, although a single eyeball did crash land in a complimentary welcome drink that was being handed to a honeymooning couple that had just arrived at a resort in Bora Bora. And some say that his testicles were retrieved by some Amazonian maidens, to be subsequently used in ceremonies that makes the mind boggle. Such were the last moments of Quentin's dad. RIP.